I want to remind you that you have a body.

Here's what that means to me.

I’ve been in the middle place for almost a year. This long, meaty process of recalibrating myself towards my own center, truth and desires has been slow, arduous and massively uncomfortable. My work has been sleeping and shedding and quietly building up again in the background as I’ve learned how to slow down and separate my identity from the work I do in the world.

The thing is, humans have to unwind old patterns again and again in order for them to stick. I wrote last week about the connection between old patterns and desires, because I’ve been noticing myself speeding up, clasping, and coming up with timelines that have nothing to do with the realities of the actual creation process yet again. Some part of me still has to learn that it’s safe to take my time. Some part of me still questions my own body’s intuitive wisdom and pace. Some part of me is still so done with being in the the middle place that I will construct a random exit by any means necessary.

We all do this. We all try at some point to avoid the middle place. We get into relationships to escape the reality of being with ourselves after the end of the last one. We escape to different cities or countries that will delight our senses so the pain of loss hits less hard. We take up hard core exercise so our bodies have no space to feel the depth of how deeply we do not know. It’s cute, the ways we try to escape the truth of our bodies. It never works, but we always think it will.

The good news is we don’t have to figure anything out with our minds alone, and in fact we should not. We have ritual. We have nature. We have greater than human forces that we can lean into and receive messages from with our bodies (By the way, if you are a femme business owner looking for a space to hold you while you illuminate your own magic, I highly recommend Rachael Maddox’s upcoming Business Witchery course).

Here is a truth that landed into my body as a result of listening to and following my inner witch: I no longer identify as a grief worker.